Keeping Austin Weird

Posted by Doug

My oldest daughter and her husband moved to Austin last year in pursuit of a weird lifestyle and cool jobs.  Austin is not the only city in the U.S. that purports to keep it weird, but Austin is the most successful in my not very humble opinion.  A recent order from the notoriously candid Sam Sparks demonstrates a couple of things.  It reads in part, “Greetings and Salutations!  You are invited to a kindergarten party on Thursday September 1, 2011 at 10:00 am in Courtroom 2 of the United States Courthouse, 200 W. Eight Street, Austin, Texas.”  First, keeping Austin weird is kind like a religion.  Second, federal judges are appointed for life.  Read the order here.


This isn't the first time that Sam Sparks has worked to keep Austin weird.  He began his Barton Springs ruling with the following poem:

Barton Springs is a true Austin shrine,
A hundred years of swimming sublime.
Now the plaintiffs say swimmers must go
'Cause of "stress" to critters, 50 or so.

They want no cleaning because of these bottom feeders,
Saying it's the law from our congressional leaders.
But really nothing has changed in all these years
Despite federal laws and these plaintiffs' fears.

Both salamander and swimmer enjoy the springs that are cool.
And cleaning is necessary for both species in the pool.
The City is doing its best with full federal support,
So no temporary injunction shall issue from this Court.

Therefore, today, Austin citizens get away with a rhyme;
But, the truth is they might not be so lucky the next time.
The Endangered Species Act in its extreme makes no sense.
Only Congress can change it to make this problem past tense.